Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Motherhood Missed???

For those of you who don't know, I've been a working mom since before PJ was born. After having her, I was home less than three weeks and then back on the grind. There are too many times that I come home and see how my kids interact with their father, and think to myself that I've somehow missed my time to be a mother. It's not uncommon in my family for women to work. Our parents have instilled in us that working hard, playing hard, and above all, providing for our children are some of the most important things we can do as adults. From as far back as I can remember, my mom worked. The airport. The hotel. Island Trucking. Mr. Lim. South Pacific. Always. But, why do I feel so inadequate now that I am doing the same thing???

My sisters all work. Except for Leone who really has made motherhood a career, and Va who just got it like that and has a great husband who affords her many a luxury in life (BTW, yes I do wonder why I couldn't have been as lucky!! ;) but, such is life) Why is it that I feel so inadequate? Am I really? Anyone out there want to share? Maybe offer some solace? I know that there are a lot of women out there who work as well, so why is that I feel like this? For the record, I LOVE my children. I know they love me, I just wish that they would run to me when they need comforting.

To make things worse...my husband just started working a couple of weeks ago. We have pretty much the same schedule and work within minutes of each other, so we leave home at the same time and come home at the same time. The first couple of days that we come home, we park the car and call for the kids. They come running out the door calling "mommy" and "daddy" and then run straight past me with my arms out to hold them and fly into the arms of their father!!!! REALLY?!?!? you had to pass me to get to him. Not even a hello....NADA!!! Talk about let down. My husband LOVES it! It irritates me that he finds such joy in knowing that they are closer to him! GGGRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Note to the bebes: MOMMY LOVES YOU MORE!!!! lol....

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